A “strong and independent” woman with a dozen cats is a well-known collective image of an old maid. But what happens if a man plays this role? More and more representatives of the stronger sex prefer to have gentle purring creatures rather than dogs. Researchers believe that modern young people are thus fighting stereotypes about masculinity, according to which a real man’s best friend should be an equally formidable dog, and are giving the green light to a more intelligent type of masculinity.
Men and cats
Recently, photographs appear more and more often on social networks in which men capture themselves with cats, cats and kittens of all breeds and sizes.
Inquisitive journalists were interested in what is behind this trend? Is this just a fashion trend? An attribute of a successful bachelor? Or is this an alarm bell - from the series “a cat replaces a family”?
Since I also failed to stay away from the trends of the times, before speaking, I draw your attention to the fact that I am not writing about those men who take photographs of seals they meet in the seal habitat. And not those who reportively post the biography of a pet. And about those who, with enviable consistency, post photos of cats with their loved one in the background.
Of course, attempts to study the deep subtext of the “Men and Cats” trend cause a smile and sincere bewilderment. What to study here - when it’s already clear. To maintain the intrigue, I will voice it not now, but at the end.
...Of course, childhood mental trauma can be attached to anything as a root situation. For example: my parents promised to take me to the zoo and didn’t.
...And since then, man has lost basic trust in the world around him; he is drawn with uncontrollable force to the cat’s reliable shoulder - to feel the fluffiness and devotion. And so, the company of a small animal friend seems to compensate for the lack of family and all that.
Let me remind you that we are not talking about the nuances of relationships with representatives of the cat family, but about regular photo publications of the “me + cat” set. Personally, I see a clear “Chi-Hua-Hua trace” in this... Remember how a few social seasons ago, metrosexual bachelors began to appear in expensive restaurants with cute pocket dogs? Do you think it’s from total loneliness? No matter how it is! It is very convenient to fish with a small dog for a long-legged girl, decorated with branded clothes and eyes wide open in admiration at such a little dog.
The men just got lazy. They no longer want to look after girls, spend time and money on them, and do not want to perform feats for them. Having learned to optimize processes in the workspace, they apply creative algorithms to achieve their pleasures. Obviously, when you let a pretty dog off the leash indoors, you can very likely assume that very soon a flirtatious person will appear nearby, waving a “rescued” dog and long eyelashes. Note that a man who wants to meet doesn’t even need to lift his butt from the chair!
...Now let's get back to the cats.
Each girl stroked a kitten in her life, each was touched and again reached out to him for pleasant sensations. By “putting” a kitten on himself, a man (consciously or subconsciously, it doesn’t matter) simply adds tactile attractiveness to the woman who sees it. Or many women. She already wants to touch not only the fluffy kitten, but also - in contrast - the glare of a male human with his naked torso.
Ask your pickup artist acquaintances - how many times does the filming time decrease in the presence of a cute pet? In a girl’s subconscious, a man with a small pet in his arms cannot be dangerous; A girl quickly develops trust in such a character.
Moreover, when he affectionately lisps with his pet (even if it is not a kitten, but an iguana), the naive female immediately begins to fantasize about what an affectionate daddy he will be... how touchingly he will communicate with future children...
And she is even ready to skip the candy-bouquet period and immediately move on to the bed phase just because she wants to quickly bring this cuteness to life.
And, as promised, the deep subtext: infantilism and narcissism.
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They don't hide their feelings anymore
More and more groups and hashtags on social networks are dedicated to the relationship between men and cats.
For example, on Facebook there are communities Crazy Cat Ladies and Cat Guys and It's Okay to be a Cat Guy.
“For a long time, cat people were stereotyped. Unmanly. More soft than hard. More feminine than masculine. It's time to show the world that it's okay to be a cat guy,” says the It's Okay to be a Cat Guy page.
More than 70 thousand people follow the Hot Dudes With Cats page on Instagram. The hashtag #guyswithcats (“guys with cats”) has been used almost 35 thousand times.
Celebrities - such as presenter Hamish Blake, singer Ed Sheeran, designer Karl Lagerfeld, actor Russell Brand - also publish pictures with clawed pets on their accounts, accompanying them with gentle captions.
Photo published by @shaunbu
Giving pets beautiful clothes and photographing them in them is normal, say “guys with cats.”
Photo published by @mrjjlanglois
Just like celebrating the birthday of your favorite animal.
Photo published by @threecutekitts
And also spend time together and sleep in the same bed.
Photo published by @sonnydjr01
And even kiss.
Man and cat. What can you find out?
I'll start with the gender of the pet.
Because it is he who is incredibly important when drawing up a psychological portrait of a man - a lonely man, an attractive partner for marriage or a romantic relationship, living alone in his own or rented housing. And so: If a man gets a CAT, this means that he is internally not only ready, but also dreams of marriage. I’ll tell you below what his cat’s temperament says and the man’s attitude towards her. In the meantime, I am the witch Olga, I will draw only one conclusion - a man dreams of having a girlfriend or wife so much that he is no longer able to wait for the realization of his dreams, and therefore he filled the empty space next to him with a cat brought from the bird market. Should you be jealous? Oh no, no need to be jealous! But still, be prepared for the fact that at first you will still have to fight for the heart of a man, in which even if he decides that you are his soul mate or destiny, the cat will occupy at least 50% of the space.
If a man has a CAT, it means he doesn’t have enough friends. And the bigger (fatter, if you will) the cat, the more he is allowed, the more alarming you should be. Because this means that friends will always be much more important to this man than you.
VICTIM OF WAR. Let me draw your attention to what is allowed to meow or purr. If an animal is forced to live under the sofa, treating the territory of the apartment as a jungle full of dangers or a place of street fighting, then in front of you (we mean the owner) is a hidden domestic sadist. Unsure of himself, full of complexes, he chose an unfortunate animal for self-realization, bullying him to such an extent that all evening he, without blinking, looks at you from the dusty, fuzzy darkness.
IF AN ANIMAL IS ALLOWED EVERYTHING - it jumps on the table, it tears wallpaper and furniture, it meows deafeningly at the first smell of delicious food, then this also does not characterize a man from the best side. Before you is a weak, spineless person, unable to withstand even the slightest difficulties. Such a man will always adhere to only one model of behavior - immediately give up, immediately bend, immediately follow the lead. And therefore, if you are looking for someone who will build a career, develop well, thanks to which he can then support his family, and at the same time allow you to wipe your nose with praise about his successes to your friends, then you have found the wrong one.
COMPANION CAT - he is allowed to go gray in a certain place, he is introduced to you (and not vice versa!), he has his own bowl, his own basket, his own post for scratching his claws, his own tray. What can we say? You got an excellent man who knows how not only to organize the reality around him, but also to achieve his own without suppressing anyone around him. He will also treat you with attention, respect and even care. But only until you start missing the tray.
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Nobody wants mice in their house. Once mice become established in a home, they can be difficult to remove. Additionally, disinfection can be a costly and intrusive endeavor.
One alternative is to get a cat. Some cat breeds are natural mousecatchers and will eat, kill or repel rodents. This is a logical reason for a person to own a cat. If he also cares for the cat and takes care of it, then that's a bonus.
Allergies to other animals
According to research in the field of allergy, asthma and immunology, 20% of people are allergic to cats or dogs. Some people cannot spend time around dogs.
However, cat allergies are more common. Despite this, those who are allergic to dogs are thought to suffer more. Dogs often shed more than cats and spend more time around people. Since dandruff is what causes allergic reactions, this is a cause for concern.
Don't assume that a man is afraid of dogs or avoids them for dubious reasons. There's a good chance he loves dogs, but has difficulty spending time around cats due to his allergies to them.
Kindness
Stray and feral cats often come into homes in search of food or shelter. Accidentally or intentionally, they may end up in this house forever. Perhaps he ended up with the cat completely by accident.
Imagine this scene. A hungry cat approaches the house, looks disheveled and meows pitifully. Out of sympathy, a can of tuna was opened. Suddenly the cat realizes that it can trust this person for food. As a result, she keeps coming back every day.
This is not a character flaw in a person. The Royal Society's Open Science Society argues that anyone who has owned a pet will respond to distress of any kind.
Love without measure: symptoms of pathological love for cats - ailurophilia
Many have heard stories about crazy cat owners who have dozens of cats living in their apartments. What is the name of the disease in which a normal, healthy love for cats becomes excessive?
People with a certain type of character are more prone to ailurophilia - introverts who are quarrelsome, withdrawn, and avoid society. However, American scientists from Stanford University discovered that cats themselves may be the cause of the pathology.
According to the latest scientific facts, pathological love for cats can be caused by the intracellular parasite Toxoplasma, which is carried by representatives of the cat family. A person becomes infected with it through contact with pet feces. The microorganism invades the brain and affects nervous reactions. It is noted that with toxoplasmosis, some people become more responsive, but at the same time they feel anxiety, guilt, and depression may develop.
If a person loves cats very much, does this mean that he has toxoplasmosis? Not at all, research shows that not all cats are infected with intracellular parasites, and especially not all infected people show symptoms of the disease.
Animals are useful
A well-known statement circulated among the general population is that people who live with pets live longer than everyone else. And numerous studies show that owners of cats, dogs, hamsters, piglets and other pets experience less stress. These people have lower blood pressure and a lower risk of depression because they have someone to hug, talk to, and pet. And this helps lonely people find meaning in life - after all, they have someone to take care of, someone to cook for, and someone to clean the toilet after. This is especially noticeable among older people. But what to do when a cat or a dog becomes the meaning of a young girl’s or a person’s life? In recent years, it has become very fashionable to have small, pocket-sized Chihuahua dogs. They are carried everywhere, they sleep with them, and they worry about the death or loss of a pet for years. And such a pet is usually closer than relatives.
East News
Why do some people don't like cats at all?
It's hard to imagine that someone might not like a small fluffy kitten or a graceful, beautiful cat. However, there are people who are completely indifferent to animals. The reason may lie in biological factors. When a person looks at a kitten, it begins to release the hormone oxytocin, but there are those who experience a lack of this hormone due to endocrine disruption. These are, as a rule, dry, callous people who are indifferent to children and do not establish friendly or romantic relationships.
The second reason for not liking cats is a conflict of characters. Cats are difficult to tame and train, and some want to see an obedient pet next to them, and not a wayward animal.
To love or not to love cats is the choice of every person. You can remain indifferent to these animals, but at the same time remember that no animal deserves to be treated cruelly.
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The animal is no longer a friend, but the other half
One professor I know lived alone for many years after divorcing her husband. She earned normal money, drove her own car and loved animals very much. After her daughter grew up, she had no one to take care of, and she settled two dogs in her three-room apartment. The butterfly found one breed of Papillon on the street and named it Tuzik, and picked up the second one with broken paws, went out and named it Bim. The male was a mix of a shepherd and a mongrel. Neighbors joked about her love for dogs: “She needs a male!” And the woman lived for many years surrounded by four-legged friends, earning them food, taking them to the doctor, which cost her a lot, and brushing them when they shed.
It happens that a man lives with a cat. And this animal becomes his other half. He eats, sleeps, talks with her.
– When I started living with my future husband, he had already been living on his own for three years. More precisely, with a cat. And when I moved things to him, she began to behave very badly. She was a good girl in front of him, rubbing against his legs and purring. As soon as he stepped outside the threshold, a bacchanalia began: she shit wherever possible, threw things around and scratched me. Even when we went to bed, she would come and lie exclusively on his chest, because she saw that I liked to put my head there! This was a real rival. In the end, I survived and gave it to a friend,” one of my friends shares her memories.
– My neighbor loved her dog very much. At the same time, she had two daughters, but the dog was still more important to her. More than once I heard her tell her daughter: “Make sure nothing happens to Barbie, she’s so fragile and tender.” The neighbor never forgot to feed the dog, although she might forget about the children. No matter how many times I saw her, I always got the impression that this dog was more important to her than the rest of the family. She clearly has some kind of psychological problems,” says my colleague Ivan. In his opinion, today many people are trying to solve their inner loneliness by purchasing animals.
The best qualities of men who love cats
Do you know men who love cats? What do you think about them? Some, obeying an outdated stereotype, cannot stand them. I think they are smart, subtle and deep. Fortunately, many people agree with me and one might even say that this opinion has prevailed recently.
It is also characteristic that many men no longer hide their tender affection for their furry brethren, and are even proud of it. The tone is set by writers, musicians and actors, respected, famous, accomplished people who have weight in society. All of them proudly consider themselves to be cat lovers. But even among stern men, there are those who simply adore their cats. I remember a touching article in a magazine about a border guard colonel who served somewhere in the Arctic Circle with his Persian cat.
In general, we can say that among us there are more and more confident men who sincerely love and care for their small and funny furry companions. I won’t lie, I like this trend, and I thought I could easily write why this is so. However, it took me several days to formulate the wonderful qualities that characterize such men, as well as to select interesting archival photos as illustrations.
They feel the mood subtly
Cats occupied a significant place in Joseph Brodsky’s personal space.
Even the most docile cats can sometimes be unfriendly and not behave very kindly. At such moments, the owner needs to be especially sensitive and instantly understand the signals transmitted by the cat, which can be translated into one short phrase: “don’t touch me.” Men usually always know when to leave a cat alone or when to let it go. But now the capricious princess has changed her anger to mercy, and she is already basking on the lap of her admirer.
It’s wonderful when a person is able to be so attuned to those around him and not get irritated by their mood changes.
They are responsible
Ernest Hemingway is known to everyone for his unusually ardent love of cats.
Although many people think that cats are easy to care for, a true cat expert will tell you that a cat requires a lot of attention, it needs not only care, but also your love and attention. It will be necessary not only to feed, but also to comb, wash, vaccinate, walk if possible, and, of course, clean the litter box daily! I think that you can completely rely on a person who is able to take on all these troubles.
They are serious and reliable
Winston Churchill loved cats so much that he bequeathed that after his death cats would always live in the residence.
Such men love not only cats. Perhaps they would hire someone else, but the high level of responsibility, a realistic assessment of their schedule and the characteristics of their work do not allow them to do this. But the fact that a man is able to connect his life with someone for 10–15 years speaks volumes. I think young girls should take a closer look at them.
They are able to appreciate the diversity of personality
How to make friends with a cat?
The easiest way to make friends with a cat is at an early age, because the kitten perceives the person who feeds, cares and caresses it as its mother. Over time, the owner and kitten “get used to” each other, they develop joint fun and traditions. If an adult cat for some reason dislikes a person, she will not want to spend time with him and will refuse to accept his attention. In such cases, you can try to make friends with the cat, although this process is long and will require patience from you.
- Try to create the most comfortable conditions for the animal: a cozy bed, good food, periodic treats, interesting toys.
- Do not perform actions that the animal may perceive as an act of aggression: do not shout, do not make sharp hand gestures, do not create noise and a nervous environment in the house, do not throw the cat during games.
- Cats can remember an insult for a long time and, on occasion, take revenge on the owner, so treat the animal with respect: do not disturb it while sleeping, do not take food, do not scream, and do not hit it under any circumstances.
- Study special literature on the topic of cat sign language. This way you will begin to understand what mood the cat is in and what she wanted to get from you. For example, if you see that the animal has flattened its ears and retracted its head, it is better to leave it alone. And if the cat looks at you intently, blinks and moves towards you, it’s time to pet it.
When the cat understands that you are not a threat to it and are friendly, over time it will begin to trust you.
Advice!
If you are unable to make friends with a cat, despite all your efforts, try contacting an animal psychologist or, for example, finding thematic groups of cat lovers on social networks. Experienced breeders will not refuse you useful advice.
Why do people love cats
A soft, cozy creature that loves to curl up at the owner’s feet into a fluffy ball and emit a pleasant purr - a symbol of a warm, bright home, happiness, comfort and love. This is the main reason why people prefer to have mustachioed striped animals as pets. For many people, these animals are associated with peace and tranquility.
The way a person treats cats can tell a lot about his character. Psychologists have developed their own characteristics of people who cannot imagine their life without a furry purr:
What kind of people are they who don’t like cats? There are also those who cannot stand purring. But in most cases, the reason lies in the subconscious, the presence of psychological problems:
Cats don't have to be liked by everyone; some people simply prefer other animals, finding them cuter. But if a person hates cats, there is an explanation for this in the form of a number of psychological reasons.
Dogs
For a woman, her dog is almost always a symbol of a man, even if the dog is female. Looking at the breed, you can always tell which male qualities the owner values most.
A large shepherd means that its owner needs a protector and reliable support. Bulldog means that a woman values her partner’s loyalty, reliability, solidity, constancy and sense of humor. The lady with the Doberman has an iron willpower and is defiant towards men - who can protect me better than my dog? A woman who holds a malicious, yapping, biting and cowardly creature in her arms makes too high demands on men, expecting to find some incredibly wonderful qualities in them. As a result, such women are rarely happy in marriage. Almost everyone who loves dogs is intolerant of the independence of others and seeks to control the lives and actions of loved ones.
It is believed that only evil and cruel people cannot stand dogs, but this is not always the case. Opponents of bobbies and bugs simply may be shy, fearful, may be afraid of these biting and loudly barking predators, or perhaps they simply prefer to seek love and friendship in the human world and do not understand why they might need this little wolf. Many people are disgusted by the need to train another living creature and become its owner, and therefore they flatly refuse to have a dog at home.
Psychology of cats - features
Everyone knows that cats are independent.
To understand how much, you can pay attention to the scientific fact: dogs “get infected” by yawning from people, but cats never repeat it after a person.
Considering the fact that repeating a yawn after someone is related to such a feeling as empathy, this perfectly explains the psychology and attitude of cats towards humans.
If you want to get a kitten, it is recommended to take into account the peculiarities of the psychology of these animals:
Having trouble raising a cat? It's not about her mental abilities, but about her approach to this issue. To raise a cat, you should act consistently and not rush. If an animal decides that the manipulations that a person performs with it are just nagging and a manifestation of the owner’s bad mood, it will continue to do its dirty tricks. Or it may react differently: take offense at the owner and deliberately commit unpleasant pranks.
Features of behavior:
Good moms
Many people are accustomed to thinking that any cat has an incredibly developed maternal instinct, which it shows not only in relation to its kittens, but also to human cubs. It is not always so. There are cats that don’t particularly care for their offspring, caring for and raising kittens only because no one else will do it for her.
There is also the opposite situation - a cat who is a supermom. She is really ready to babysit not only her own kittens, even if they are already adults, but also strangers, not allowing their own mother near them. Cats are amazing and completely unpredictable animals that do not always fit into certain behavioral patterns.
A cat that replaces friends is a surrogate
Psychologists say that people living with cats satisfy their emotional needs in the most shameless way - bestiality, i.e. the most selfish of all. By attributing fictitious feelings and emotions to a dumb animal, their owners often solve their own emotional problems, minimizing the risks of real communication. Communication with people can be unsafe - they can hurt your Ego, they can hurt, or even destroy your self-esteem. It's easier with cats. But this is declared as caring for cats, and there is a monstrous substitution of concepts in this. If a man only cares about the cat, it means that he is emotionally immature, dependent and does not realize the need for any changes. If a woman cares about a cat more than about anyone else, it means that she wants to preserve her phobias, or she has had an emotional catastrophe, and she cannot get out of it. When a woman says: “The man didn’t like my cat, so fuck off that man, as long as the cat is okay!” – this should already be alarming.
A cat that replaces friends, affections, sensory impressions is a kind of surrogate. And if you analyze the degree of satisfaction of your emotional needs, needs for communication, understanding, relationships between family members, a cat may signal that your search for psychological safety has perhaps led you too far.
For help in revealing the topic, we thank the psychologist, member of the Ukrainian Union of Psychotherapists Alevtina Shevchenko.
Man - friend or feeding slave
Even the most affectionate, sweet and gentle pet can at any moment wag its tail and leave a person, stopping communication with him for a while.
Unlike devoted dogs, who are ready to follow their owner everywhere with inexhaustible love, cats prefer to maintain independence and a bit of disdain in their relationships with humans.
Features of the relationship between cats and people:
When placing high hopes on your pet, expecting absolute obedience and good behavior from him, you should remember that a person is not the cat’s owner, but only his big “neighbor” who feeds and cares for him.
Cat tongue or how to understand a pet
Considering the peculiar and extremely capricious nature of cats, it is quite possible to make life with them comfortable for both parties if you learn to understand pets, recognizing their mood and desire by certain postures and sounds made:
Poses and their explanation:
What the eyes will tell you. You can also understand a cat’s mood by the expression in its eyes:
Knowing how a cat shows emotions, you can predict its desires and needs, assess your pet’s readiness to make contact or its desire to be alone.
