What to do if your own cat doesn’t love you (or it seems to you that she doesn’t love you)

But don’t even think about strangling the cat in your arms.

Such a capricious animal, like a cat, loves freedom very much and cannot stand loud exclamations. This is why cats avoid communicating with children. Your furbaby needs a lot of time to sleep, which is why he loves to retire and hide inside comfortable boxes. If you see that your pet is not in the mood to play, leave him alone. Don't pick him up and don't force him to do anything he doesn't want.

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Be especially careful if your cat shows signs of aggression (dilated pupils, tail twitching, fur standing on end, hissing or howling). Just leave your friend alone until you see an improvement in his mood.

Give her privacy

Do not forget about the independence of cats, that they are territorial animals. Predators leave marks on their territory by scratching trees. Furniture in an apartment may be damaged by claws. Buy your pet a special scratching post, post or bed, and your sofa will remain intact. There are play complexes on sale and the cat will be happy to climb its tree and hide in the house. If you make such a game tree with your own hands, the cat will love you even more.

Love your cat: feed her, give her attention, play, brush her, treat her with treats - and the animal will reciprocate your feelings. She will definitely love you. In its own way, in a cat's way.

  • Author: Elena Romanenko
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Play with your pet

When your pet is in a great mood, alternate displays of affection and hugs with outdoor games. Give your cat the opportunity to show his hunting instinct in all its glory. Experts recommend playing with your pet at least once a day. This fun activity keeps your pet in great physical shape and stimulates his brain. Secret: Having games at the same time will help strengthen your bond.

Issues of genetics and heredity

Heredity is of great importance in the formation of character in cats, and a baby born to an affectionate cat has a great chance of growing up to be an animal friendly towards people. But the fundamental point in behavior towards the owners of cats is the behavior of the mother, who was the first to start raising kittens. Semi-wild cat mothers, hissing from the basement at passers-by, certainly instill in their babies an unshakable “harmfulness.” As for the gender of the kitten, there is no difference in the level of affection between cats and cats - it all depends on upbringing and living conditions.

If the owner is ready to turn a small predator into a friendly and affectionate cat, then experienced owners of meowing pets in this case will willingly share their secrets of education.

Play by the cats' rules

You won't believe it, but animals, like people, also have different temperaments. Find out whether your pet likes passive play (sits and watches the toy you move) or whether he belongs to the category of active animals. Don't give up playing if your cat doesn't want to play by your rules. Remember that most natural hunters prefer to chase a moving object rather than roll balls.

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Pay attention

Cats are by nature solitary animals. But you can’t live alone for long in apartment conditions. Pay attention to the cat! It is not limited to just feeding, although this is a vital part of caring for pets. Feeding adult cats twice a day, at a certain time. Do you want your cat to love you? Take responsibility for feeding your pets. Give your pet treats and you will notice that your cat will communicate with you more. In addition to feeding, play is important for cats.

Feeding strategy

If your pet prefers to keep his distance from you, an effective feeding strategy will help. Leave food in the same room as you are, but maintain a respectful distance. When the kitten gets used to your presence and becomes bolder, gradually reduce the distance. While he is eating, talk to him in a soft, quiet voice. Cats hate harsh sounds, so they love men more than overly emotional women.

How to make your cat love you

Having seen enough colorful photographs and videos of charming fluffy kittens, many people believe that by taking a kitten into their home, they have automatically acquired an affectionate, playful and sociable pet, especially since the owner has already provided an abyss of care and love for the furry baby.
However, after just six months, inexperienced owners are faced with a capricious and unfriendly animal living in their home, insidiously attacking their feet from behind all sorts of hiding places. Strange as it may seem, a cat’s love and trust in its owner must be cultivated, and this is a very painstaking and long work.

Moreover, cats have a vindictive character and they do not forget the insults caused to them. It only seems to the owner that he was absolutely right in punishing his pet for puddling in the wrong place, but the animal itself may not feel guilty, because it does not understand the meaning of the angry tirade uttered by the owner against it.

Don't punish your pet

Even if you don't like the animal's behavior, you don't need to yell at the cat, spray water, or use violence. Any form of punishment does not work at all when it comes to interacting with animals. You are in different mental categories. The cat does not learn the “lesson”, but sees your aggression. This creates tension between you.

Therefore, focus your efforts on trying to train your pet to behave correctly. For example, if a cat jumps on a table, don't shoo it away. Try to make him want to go down on his own. For example, place a treat or toy on the floor.

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Remember that a cat is a wild animal

The history of breeding domestic dogs goes back 100,000 years; they were domesticated long ago, as they were actively involved in hunting and home guarding. The benefits of breeding dogs have always been obvious to humans. With cats the situation is different. Undoubtedly, in history there are isolated cases of owning cats; just remember the great Cleopatra and Ancient Egypt. Cats began interacting with humans about 5,000 years ago, but mass domestication of furry cats lasts only 200 years.

Therefore, the connection with these animals is not so strong. You should not expect boundless trust and affection from a cat; genetic memory still does not allow him to completely relax next to a person. “Cats are not dogs,” says renowned cat psychologist Jackson Galaxy, “I know it sounds strange, but we always look at cats through the prism of a dog’s perception. We must treat cats with the same dignity as humans. This means a much slower introduction process and respects that the cat is programmed to be a self-sufficient, free-spirited hunter."

“The cat begins to pick up signals as soon as you enter the house. She can smell other animals on you, even the scent of that dog you just walked past. So if you had contact with another animal on the way home, where the cat is waiting for you, try to get rid of foreign odors, says renowned feline behaviorist Michel Nagelschneider.

Once you get inside the house, avoid blocking any exits the animal perceives. Do not close doors or block passages; such actions signal danger in the eyes of the cat.

How to increase your importance to the right man?

Now let's move on to the topic of significance. Let me remind you once again that significance is a man’s investment in you. The more a man invests in you (gifts, money, care, time, etc.), the higher your importance.

In the previous paragraphs, we discussed the topic of value and how to become valuable to a man. So, if a man sees your value, then making him start investing is not difficult. Because at this stage he should already be interested, if, of course, you conveyed your value correctly.

How to get a man to invest?

1) Ask for what is available

At the initial stages of your communication, ask the man to do for you what he is able to handle. If on the first date you ask to buy you coffee, that’s ok, such an investment is quite acceptable. But if on the same first date you ask to buy his apartment, this is too much, since your level of trust is not yet that great.

Therefore, start with the little things, and make sure that the man gets used to investing in you a little bit, gradually increasing the momentum.

An example of investing and increasing significance from life. Summer evening, I am walking with a girl in the park - we are on our first date. She started talking about some book she had read. This book really resonated with her, and I decided to use this situation as a resource. I told her, “Please give me this book for a while, I want to read it.” The girl gladly gave me her book; she made a small investment in me already on the first date. This increased my importance because she was already invested, even if it was a small action. Did I need this book? - No. It was just a resource to increase its importance. I began to teach her to invest and share with me from a small point of view.

When a person invests in you, your importance increases. This is how the human brain works and nothing can be done about it.

When you invest in a man (by washing his socks or preparing food), it is his importance that increases, not yours. The importance of a girl will increase only when the man begins to invest.

Therefore, the idea “I do everything for him so that he loves me” is not working. For a man to love, he must give!

2) “I’m pleased”

I want you to use the phrase “I’m pleased” or “I would be very pleased if...” as often as possible. This is how you provoke a man to invest.

  • “I’m pleased when a man gives me flowers”
  • “I feel good when people take care of me”
  • “I’m starting to develop feelings for someone who pleases me.”

Say these phrases more often to the right man and then he will begin to please you. But, if your value to him is low, then he will not do anything and the phrase “I’m pleased” can have the opposite effect. For example, a man may answer, “Do you only want gifts from men?” If you hear such a phrase from him, it means that you incorrectly conveyed your value (he didn’t see it) and did not evoke the right emotions.

When a man falls in love with a girl and sees her value, on the contrary, he wants to please her. Therefore, a negative response to this phrase serves as a useful signal that you are doing something wrong.

3) Praise

Remember, if a man pleases you, you should always praise him for it and give him your share of attention. Because this way you encourage him to behave correctly. If a man came with flowers, and you accepted them with a cold look and didn’t even say a pleasant word, then the following thought will arise in his head: “Why the hell did I even lock this broom, she clearly doesn’t care about me.” And that’s it, his motivation to look after you will begin to disappear.

Therefore, do not be stingy with praise and tenderness. You turn on the coldness and ignore only in response to his incorrect behavior. But when he pleases you, you give him positivity so that in those moments he feels like a hero next to you.

Conclusions:

Before you provoke a man into investing, you need to demonstrate your value. When a man sees your value and wants your attention, he will easily start investing, you just need to ask. The more a man invests in you, the higher your importance to him. Praise a man for doing the right thing and punish him for doing the wrong thing.

Punish with coldness, lack of interest and without emotion. Include positive emotions when praising a man. Use the phrase “I’m pleased” and “I’m pleased when...” if you want a man to do something for you.

Hooray? Victory?

Goodbye scratched hands! Now my beast will surely become the most affectionate cat! We hasten to disappoint: failure to fulfill at least one of the conditions can lead to open aggression, but strict adherence to all recommendations does not guarantee a sociable character

The fact is that all the advice on the topic “How to make a cat affectionate” does not work in a number of cases:

Patience, attention to detail and the awareness that a cat has its own passions and interests will definitely help you raise a cozy pet from a small predator. Study the life of cats in nature - this greatly helps to understand the behavior of your pet in a given situation.

Games with laser

How to entertain a cat if he is bored? A laser pointer will help you in this matter. Many cats are partial to a beam of light that moves chaotically. It is advisable that the room in which you plan to play is dark (at least semi-dark).

How to play with a pet with a laser? Very simple. You need to move the beam of light around the room and walls. Watch as your pet tries to catch the light phantom. It is advisable to direct the laser to a place where the cat can run without problems, without causing damage to itself or objects in the room.

Pet where she likes

One of the manifestations of love is tactile contact. Cats love to be petted. But every cat has its own preferences. Check what your pet likes best and stroke where he likes it best. In response, you will hear a contented purr. Over time, the cat may let you scratch its tummy - this is a sign of trust and love on its part. And if a cat licks you, this means that you have been accepted as one of their own, and you are now a full member of the cat family. Stroking a cat can be combined with combing its fur. A daily ritual will help get rid of dead hairs and avoid the formation of tangles in long-haired breeds.

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